Attack On Hange: Titan Arum
by Unknownred
Summary: Hange's heart sinks as Levi places the spray bottle onto her lab desk and turns to go, leaving Hange in his stead once again. But she doesn't give up. "Bath!" This stops Levi mid-step from the door. "What?" "If you try this new concocted cologne, I swear I'll take a bath!" Hange smiles convincingly, raising her pinky up in salute as Levi turns to her.


Attack on Hange: Titan Arum

By: Unknownred

A/N: This will be a small series based on Zoe and Ackerman. I waited 3 years, respectively, for the **anime** to be completed before watching it. Again, I've watched the anime/OVA, but I didn't read the manga. So, no spoilers, okay? I'll get to reading when I feel like it. Also, this is my first fanfic on AOT/SNT. Unfortunately, I don't own the artwork or the wicked storyline—Hajime Isayama does.

 **Last Note:** I don't usually write _profanity_ in my stories. The only exceptions are 'crap,' and 'damn'.

Ships: Hange and Levi

Rated: M

Genre: Humor/ Romance

Status: One-Shot

Summary: Hange's heart sinks as Levi places the spray bottle onto her lab desk and turns to go, leaving Hange in his stead once again. But she doesn't give up. "Bath!" This stops Levi mid-step from the door. "What?" "If you try this new concocted cologne, I swear I'll take a bath!" Hange smiles convincingly, raising her pinky up in salute as Levi turns to her.

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'Ingredients: Water, organic alcohol, essential oils, glycerin, and…' The mad scientist thinks, pulling out the dropper from one tube and dropping the secretive extract into her new masterpiece.

"GENIUS!" Hange laughs aloud, holding up a cylinder tube of what seemed to be extracted saliva from her very two, once alive but now deceased, titans. "After mixing all the ingredients: love for all of humanity, it is finally finished!"

"Uh, Squad Leader…" Moblit Berner, Hange's assistant, began to speak before Hange ordered him to go find Humanity's Strongest, aka Levi Ackerman, captain of the Special Operations Squad within the Survey Corps. Moblit looks at the experiment his leader was holding in fear of the outcome once cast to whoever tries it. 'To think I've been working under her for how many years, and still I worry…' he thinks, and sighs deeply before saluting and hesitantly walks out the room in search for Captain Levi.

Hange giggles to herself and sets the tube back in its holder. She creeps to the window and pushes her glasses up her head. Closing her eyes, she reminisces the events that pursued the day before and how Levi looked extremely pissed at her.

" _Get off me, stupid glasses!" Levi pushed her away, only for Hange to lunge back and embrace the man from behind, her arms locking around his torso. Walking a great distance ahead of them was the rest of their team, starving from training all day._

" _You'd make the perfect coat rack!" Hange leans into his warm back, her cheek brushing his own. She smiles as his raven locks hides the cold expression his face produces. Bringing him closer to her, she jokes in his ear, "Especially on how many coats you've carried, I'm not surprised that the weight has worn you down to size."_

" _Speaking of racks," Levi growls and guts Hange in the side, "You have none! No wonder no one has asked for your hand. You're pathetic and filthy."_

 _Hange rubs her side and shoots Levi a bright smile, "I'm holding out for that special someone. Who knows, it could be you!"_

" _In your dreams," Levi rolls his narrowed eyes and turns to go, leaving Hange behind. She watches him enter the mess hall, her lips drawn into a frown and a far-away look in her eyes. Following in step, she overhears a conversation pass her between three recruits._

" _Oh my gosh," Recruit #1 gushed to her two friends, "Don't you think Captain Levi looked quite fetching today?"_

 _Recruit #2 gasps and turns to both her friends and squeals, "Yasss! Especially when he wears that fancy ascot of his! Quite dashing, actually!"_

" _I don't know," Recruit #3 cuts in, catching both fangirl's attention. "For a man of his caliber, he's quite short. Doesn't it feel like we're cougars preying after a helpless victim?"_

" _Helpless, my arse!" Recruit #1 laughs, and dismisses the thought. "No matter his size, I bet he's great in bed!"_

" _Right?" Recruit #2 stops walking before they enter the mess hall, and whispers, "In fact, I heard, even a short man has a bigger—"_

"HANGE!" A voice pulls Hange back to earth, her eyes widen as she looks at the suspect that brought her back to reality. Black undercut hair, narrowed blue eyes, and hands that held her in a fierce grip now released as she steps back, processing her thoughts. Her eyes dropped to his pants for a mere second before she reaches for her glasses.

"Berner said it was an emergency." Levi crosses his arms and glared at Hange. "Or was that a farce to get me to come?"

Hange parts her lips and tries to hold back the blush that threatened to fill her cheeks as the earlier memory was still fresh in her mind. She clears her throat and forces a gleeful smile, "Exactly! Now I got a proposition for you, Levi, something you won't live to pass down!"

"Oh this better be good," Levi mutters sarcastically. "What is it?"

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"You concocted a fragrance cologne to ward off fangirls." Levi summarized, taking the spray that Hange poured the experimental contents into and examined it. "And you want me to be one of your test subjects."

Whether it was a statement or a question, Hange doesn't stop to correct him and continues to sell her product to her suspicious specimen. "It's completely harmless! Besides, this odor will make you unnoticeable to people…even me!"

Levi blinks at the thought of having peace and quiet for once without the noisy and wild scientist ruining his day. "And how long does this cologne last?"

"However long you want it to last. You have the whole bottle." Hange explains thoroughly, excited to see the outcome. "Plus, only I and Moblit knows the ingredients!"

After a few minutes of contemplating, Levi comes to a conclusion, "I'm not convinced."

Hange's heart sinks as Levi places the spray bottle onto her lab desk and turns to go, leaving Hange in his stead once again. But she doesn't give up. "Bath!"

This stops Levi mid-step from the door. "What?"

"If you try this new concocted cologne, I swear I'll take a bath!" Hange smiles convincingly, raising her pinky up in salute as Levi turns to her.

Narrowing his eyes at the prospect of Hange actually taking a bath willingly must put her in a desperate position. People didn't call Hange Zoe, Humanity's Smartest, for nothing. Levi knew beneath all that filth, Hange was nothing more than a liar caught in her own bluff. Pressing his lips in a thin line, Levi stared, arms crossed and asked, "When?"

Hange's smile doesn't falter, "Right after—"

"I put this on." Levi cuts in, and strides to the table, grabbing the bottle and spraying it on himself. Surprised, Hange parts her lips in protest but Levi turns to her and dismisses her, "Now, go take a bath."

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After Levi watches Hange leave her laboratory, dejected and hesitant, Levi goes on a small detour around the castle to see if Hange's cologne actually worked or not.

'For the love of all humanity,' Levi thought, shocked at the outcome, 'Not only did it freaking worked and he's unnoticeable by everyone, but now he can surely live up to his height!'

"Eren, wait up!" The call of soldier Arlert and soldier Ackerman made Levi go into defense mode. They ran passed him, their feet almost trampling him over if he hadn't used his miniature 3DMG to escape the frenzy.

Levi's mind roared with rage as he planned different scenarios to kill the scientist that put him in this dilemma! In comparison to a ruler, he was the length of a hand—a walking doll, perhaps. How in the world did that stupid glasses come up with these pointless experiments? And, why in the world did she always have to drag him into them? Did she even test it out? 'Harmless, my arse!' He growled, flying through the corridor, above everyone's head.

'When I get my hands on you,' Levi clenched his teeth together and glared at the thought of giving Hange her own experimental medicine and tromping on her with his feet.

"No one has seen Squad Leader Hange or Captain Levi." A familiar voice snapped Levi out of his murderous desire to endanger the said scientist. Levi hangs from the arc ceiling and sees Moblit jitter in anxiety. "Oh, I hope he's okay."

"Adding in that extra ingredient was probably not a wise decision without testing…" Levi narrows his eyes in suspicion and makes the decision to appear in front of the brunette. Moblit gasps and screams in hallucination before fainting onto the hard cold floor.

"Tch, useless." Levi swings above again, aborting mission one and immediately initiating mission #2 to find Hange.

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The moment Hange walked out of her steamy bathroom, breathless and hot, her eyes momentarily gaze into the most beautiful, dark jeweled eyes she's grown to tease. "For the love of all humanity, I think my eyes deceive me!"

"You stand corrected." Levi hangs in midair, face to face with Hange, still filthy and in a towel. "The only one who deceived me is you!"

"Levi! Is that really you?" Hange gasps, eyes wide in fascination. She breaks into giggles as she compliments the tiny voice Levi mocked her with. "Aww, Levi, if I knew you were going to shrink, I would have preferred you in pint size!"

Levi growls, "This is not a laughing matter, Zoe!"

"Oh, but it is!" Hange laughs, whacking her hand in a forced wave, throwing Levi off balance. His 3DMG unhooks and before Levi could shoot off to a safer distance, he falls. Right. Onto. The. Devil's. Towel. Only to loosen it off her body and onto the floor. Unnoticed, Hange blinks and looks around for her missing comrade. "Levi? Where'd you go?"

"Stupid Glasses," Levi picked himself up and kicked away the humungous towel that surrounded him. Looking up, Levi couldn't believe what he saw. Naked in all her filthy glory stood the mad scientist, Hange Zoe, Humanity's Smartest, with her oily brown hair and her fogged up glasses, Levi didn't know why he couldn't look away. Maybe because she had curves and an unbounded _rack_ that he hadn't seen before!

Just at that moment, Hange felt a small breeze flow below her. She caught sight of Levi checking her out. She purses her lips and bends to his level. 'I wonder what he sees me as,' She thinks, her mind going into scientific mode. 'I thought he would be appreciative towards my gift to him, but it backfired. Now, he hates me more.'

"Put on something, you filthy, pathetic, piece of—" Levi stammered, finally able to look away shamelessly.

"We made a deal, Ackerman." Hange cut in, with a serious tone in her voice. "You put on the cologne and I take a bath."

"What's stopping you?" Levi let out, crossing his arms.

She knew when he demanded her a bath, she couldn't stop herself from obeying—if not, hesitantly—out of habit and in the end, the outcome always left her in tears. Although she didn't show it, she always kept to herself, alone in her room, after taking a bath.

"Clearly, you broke off the deal and you lied about testing out this concoction!" Levi accused her.

"I did test out the product," Hange began, catching Levi's attention back to her. Eye level, Levi made sure he didn't look below her chin. "Although the outcomes were different in my case. No one, especially you, wanted to be near or around me yesterday."

Levi raised an eye brow, recalling the previous events that happened the night before. Hange was working all week, every night on a new experiment involving the titans. No rest, no break, and no shower. He, like always, tried to keep him and his surroundings tidy. So when Hange surprisingly appeared out of the blue, everyone that was nearby had randomly passed out or ran away in tears. Used to her disgusting behavior, he tried everything in his power to escape the stench that engulfed her. Did she by chance…? "On what did you test it on?"

"Myself," Hange declared, answering Levi's own question. She then taps her chin, and adds in, "But that was before I added in the secret extract…ohhh!" Realization hits her. Could it be that the titan's saliva had a different chemical effect to the concoction she made? And, she gave the product to Levi without so much as testing the newly developed product with just a drop of drool! She quickly thinks for an exclamation.

"Hange…" Levi's gaze darkens as he uses his 3DMG to advance on Hange. "What is this secret extract you speak of?"

Maybe if she told him the truth, he'll relent on killing her hands-on. But then the thought of him trying to kill her in that small form amused her. She doubted he could inflict damage onto her…not when she saw him in his weakest form. She cracks a smile and that's when he lost it.

"If you're not going to tell me," He growls and does a spin-off, swoops down and swings around her ankles. "I'll just have to force it out of you."

Tripping backwards, Hange falls on her behind, making her breasts bounce and her eye glasses fly off her perched head. Widen eyes, Hange stares at Levi hysterically. "Oh, Levi, this could possibly be an improvement to my experiment! In your eyes, I am a titan!"

She grins as he hooks onto a nearby desk and swings up and lands on her knee. "Seemingly. What's your point?"

"Well, we all know that Titans don't have a digestive system—"

"You are not a titan." Levi pointed out.

"Clearly," Hange rolls her eyes and continues, "But if I were, would you take me down physically or—"

"That's a stupid question," Levi cuts in, pulling out his blade.

"Sexually?" Hange finishes just as Levi pierces the tip of his blade into Hange's skin.

"Ow!" Hange flinches, swatting at Levi like a mosquito had bitten her. At the same time, Levi slides down her thigh, and landed obscurely into her nether region. "Hange!"

"Oh, sorry." Hange said, pressing her legs together.

Cushioned from the fall, Levi laid in the crotch ditch of Hange's legs. Moving to get up, his boot sinks and catches onto something hard. "Oh!" Hange began, watching Levi's struggle to get up. Stepping on it to gain balance, Hange gasps and lets out a loud moan. Startled, Levi looks up at Hange, past the valley of her breasts and to the face that showed pure ecstasy.

His eyes widen at the realization that whatever he stepped on was not a stable pillar and that could only belong on a human female's body—he so much as heard from stories told in the baths—made his face wash away all colors as he watched Hange cringe in pleasure.

A moment of silence passes before Levi clears his throat. "What was that noise?"

Before Hange could answer, embarrassed, a quick and sudden knock on Hange's door led to a burst of forced entry made both individuals whip their attention to the unexcused intruder.

"Squad Leader, Captain Levi is—" Moblit screams inside the room, only to stop his emergent rampant on the sight of his nude leader, posed in an awestruck M lying down while a doll-like Levi nestles in between her legs. Blood spurts from Moblit's nose and he passes out right there, on the floor of Hange's room.

Hange breaks the awkward silence by thinking aloud, "Hah, maybe I should concoct a memory dispel on Moblit."

Levi absentmindedly agrees, and offers, "No, allow me. With a swift kick, I could knock out a few memory cell membranes…"

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Soft moans escaped Hange's full lips as Levi breathed in her bodily scent, which consisted of sweat mixed with the remnants of the Titan Arum fragrance she used in the cologne experiment. For a mere second, it didn't smell all that bad, more like a musky cinnamon scent that filled his lungs. Ignoring the smell altogether, Levi dug his tongue into the folds of Hange's overgrown vagina and explored the walls from within her wet canal.

Dwelling on her high, Hange looked down at the small man in between her legs, devouring her sweetness, his hand massaging her pearl as it hardens under his touch. She could feel a pool of pleasure wash over her as her toes curled. Pushing her head back, Hange lets out a loud orgasm, earning a hidden smirk from Levi who gained an upper hand at her weakness.

 _After throwing Moblit out the room and heading into the bathroom to take a bath, as promised, Hange stuck her hand into the water before taking it out and mumbling something indiscreetly._

" _What was that?" Levi placed two hands on his hips as he stared at his naked companion._

" _I-I'm not sure I can." Hange admitted, crouching at the base of the tub._

" _Seriously?" Levi growls. "Why go through all the trouble of making a deal when you're so much of a coward to follow through? It's just a bath!"_

" _I mean," Hange explains, her eyes holding a distant-frightened look, "I don't think I can take a bath with you here."_

" _It's not like I haven't already seen you bare in all your filthy glory! Are you telling me you're now embarrassed?" Levi shakes his head at the confusing giant._

" _Levi…"_

" _This is your fault! Take responsibility!"_

Just as bliss overtook Hange's body, a 'POOF!' cloud appeared around Levi, ceasing the activity ensued between them. Startled, Hange looks down at Levi, at the normal size she's grown to know and live to tease. Levi, who felt something changed in him, saw that he was back to normal and that his surroundings including the giant is now back to the size he wished for.

"How do you feel?" Hange speaks up, spamming him with questions related to her titan research. She pauses in mid-question as she sees Levi launch at her with hands reaching for her neck. Gasping, she felt his lips pressed into hers, his hands cradle her face as he pulls her in closer. Tucking his tongue passed her teeth, she felt the overlapping challenge to dominate him in a tongue war.

Unfortunately, she was weak to his touch and from her earlier orgasm, she could feel the trembles between her legs. Levi broke away, only to whisper. "Now tell me, what was that secret extract?" Levi didn't forget the one goal that took down this giant.

Breathing unevenly, Hange looked up through her eye lashes and locked onto his memorizing eyes, "If I told you, you'd surely kill me."

"Would you rather I kill Moblit?" Levi turned his head and looked at the bathroom door.

Steam surrounded them and it became a bit too hot. Hange knew Levi didn't mean it but she still mumbled in defense, "I think he's been tortured too many…"

Levi looked back at her, taking in her exquisite beauty in the steamed room. With her full curves pressed against his built, muscled form, Levi unbuckled his pants and slid down to her nether regions. "One more wouldn't kill him." He offered, swooping in between her legs and jerked inwards, pumping in and out of the mad scientist. At the peak of her exhilarating high, Hange lets out a loud and pleasing cry that satisfied Levi's ears as he orgasms with her and soon after, collapses against her.

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Epilogue

X

"What." Levi sat there, frozen with a spoon mid-air from his bowl to his mouth.

"I-it was Sonny and Bean's drool." Moblit repeated, scared out of his wits and bows his head in fright at the frozen, dark monstrosity in front of him. When he heard the room go silent and thought he was at death's door, Moblit chanced a glance up and saw that Captain Levi had but left the mess hall. "Eh?"

"WHERE IS THAT FILTHY HANGE ZOE?!" Levi's roar-like yell reached Moblit's ears as he scrambles out of the room to forewarn his soon-to-be dead squad leader.

"SQUAD LEADER!"

The End


End file.
